Monday, July 12, 2010

Old Spice

Recently, The Poison Review (an excellent resource site) reported: "Fox News discovers nutmeg abuse".
Teenagers have figured out that large amounts of nutmeg can make you high. This is not a new discovery; the knowledge has been around for a while. Something that the TV spot didn't mention is the indigestion that goes along with consuming substantial amounts of caustic spices.
Back in a previous model of yours truly, around Sarah 3.0 (I'm on at least 6.0 now), I worked at the reports desk of my local police department. We processed mostly crime reports, but every once in a while we would get a report on someone who had harmed themselves in a weird way. Nutmeg featured prominently in one of them.

Circa 1990, two young men decided to reach a legal high via eggnog decoration. They visited their pusher of choice, the local Kroger's, where they purchased one box of nutmeg and two half-gallons of milk. These fellows tried, tried to plan ahead - honest! When they got back to their place in UK's student ghetto, they divided the Banda Island gold between the two containers of milk. They covered and shook the contents vigorously, then chugged them down.

The report didn't specify whether they got high or not. It did specify, however, that they began puking uncontrollably. This was waaaayy past too much baklava. The two guys visited the local ER, where the staff immediately became suspicious. They'd begun throwing up only two hours ago...? They didn't know why they were sick, but they thought they needed medical help...? That set the BS alarms off, and the staff wormed the story out of the young men.

A report was filed with the police, but, really, these young men had broken no laws outside of digestive ones. They had already been punished, though, for their culinary creativity.





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